you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize