i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize