My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
We need to rekindle our bromance
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
