I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
