I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
