you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
