That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
i've created a new STD.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Randomize
