Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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