I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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