I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize