Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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