I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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