Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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