Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
