the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
