Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize