i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
