I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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