She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
She tied me up with her honor cords...
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
