Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
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