you guys were way drunker than both of me
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Randomize
