Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
pop tarts are not kleenex
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Randomize
