Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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