drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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