Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
