Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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