I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
