Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
