evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
