Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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