i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
