btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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