Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
