no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
