He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
