she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
