i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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