; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
