windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Enjoy the penises
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
