sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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