i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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