what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
