Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
