Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
