that's an acceptable place to lick
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
