TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
