Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
