Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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