Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
