i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
