You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
