thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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