Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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