I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
