She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
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