yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize