ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
