omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
