I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Randomize
