it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
